The 2003 Seeing Red Holiday Gift Guide
#1 on my list this year is the Ambient Orb Device, a glass sphere that changes color or pulsates when the Dow fluctuates, the pollen count rises, or your fellow Redheads log in for chat night. Programmable by anyone who knows how to issue a http "get" call. Unfortunately, at $150, my chances aren't good.
Recommended for your favorite rocketmen or flying girls: paperweights laser etched with images of Mir or the International Space Station, or Astronaut Meals with a Space Holopop for dessert. (I've tried various "Astronaut" foods and found the reconstituted chocolate pudding decidedly crunchy, but I heartily recommend the freezedried Chicken and Rice. Just like Mom's. Mmm mmm good.)
Our resident substance abuse expert has taught us all the proper way of getting caffeinated for road tripping: baker's chocolate. But this is 2003, and now we have ingenious new ways of caffeine absorption: Shower Shock soap, Octane energy gel, and assorted candies
Give your Wild Man a silkscreened testosterone tie. Also comes in gonorrhea, HIV, and herpes. (I want the stem cell scarf, dammit.)
And finally, add color to your rooms with these Soviet propaganda posters. Put a "Nyet!" behind the bar, a "Stop Kitchen Slavery" in the kitchen, and a Yuri Gagarin in the bedroom. Or, instantly put everyone at ease with this "Not a Member of Secret Government Committee" t-shirt.
December 15, 2003
Two brothers in Italy using homemade radio equipment allegedly listened in to Soviet transmissions during the early days of the space race, recording the sounds of a failing heartbeat and later, a female cosmonaut calling for help as her capsule burned. The Soviet Union quickly suppressed news of such failed missions, but the stories are now preserved on the Lost Cosmonauts site.
December 07, 2003
From the Earth to the Moon
Now that China has made it to space and reportedly plans to build a base on the moon, the Bush administration is considering another trip to the moon. Buzz Aldrin weighs in with an editorial urging the consideration of a "floating launching pad" at a Lagrange point over two-thirds of the way to the moon, where the gravitational fields are in balance.